“I am not who you think I am”…
Thursday, June 29th, 2006Should love be precise or should it remain imperceptible? Will I ever find the motivation to love anew? Will it be right to mend… preserve and love again… him again? When will it be right? Or should I let his face fade with the wind and in the long run… my mind, my heart…
Romanticism as you might call it, of billion draw backs and untiring returns… I’m saving myself for that one person who owns me, by fate and by choice. All I needed was a constant reminder… and then nothing was left unsaid, even if I refused to do the talking or even if I pushed you enough to shut me up and pin me down. Tell me everything that I never needed. .. vanity and cravings… then let me throw it in front of you. I had my own light even before you came, more luster could blind other people but to me it’d be nothing but air. I just wanted this one justification of the point you wanted to make. Grab me then never let go for letting go for you is pride and I’m asking you to strip it off and be enslaved. Be damned by your highest level of self-worth and then embrace me. You have been a GOD for too long. Be confined by what we have and grow with me… teach me new things for I am eager to learn and am eager to LOVE you ONCE AGAIN. Let this be your conceit. You look much delicate, wiser, closer…when you’re tamed. We have been through a lot of tough times, the roughest so to speak and I have watched you through out perfection, I have witnessed them humiliate you. I have been there, even in those moments where you didn’t want me to feel. I have perceived and it has been my pleasure. ..and to you, I am grateful. I have never seen a man falter in front of me; I praise you for your weakness, for allowing me to benefit from it. Cruelty? You have fooled a lot of them just to fall into my arms… and they will never understand the greatness of your vulnerability. You are a man, above all false Romeos, who knows how to love, when to love. Let them curse me for this luck. Be mine.
“I am not who you think I am”… this has defined you all this years. I was drawn towards you and this was the first share of beauty that welcomed me, an omen of an upcoming glee. A premonition that more of your perfection was yet to come, set to be let loose given the right soul.
“I am not who you think I am”…I am now a shadow of this truth. I have been the key to my own joy and I’m locking myself up. I am captivated. Let me own what I have seen. Be mine. If the world should pounce on this lovely beast, to possess or to conquer, it is not worth my attention. Holding you is too much flattery, you holding on is too much vanity. Let them try and I shall be graced by this attempt. We have gone through a lot and I am surprised by your strength.
You were right when you said I was perfect. You are the cause. Looking at myself now, I have mirrored the l
ife that you shared. Thank you.
Now laugh at your own whim, cry when you must. You have been a God for too long. You have me. Now that you have seized the days with me, after being my ubermench since I last felt myself breathe, let me stay here. I have no regrets. Don’t try to please me, you have faltered enough. You have given me even the delight that never reached my imagination. Now let yourself know my oath… I am here…
To see more of you, breathe more for you…
You have me…
when you’re perfect…
and when you’re not…
