Living in a glassbowl…

           For a moment, stop eating your fries…As I sit beside the most vulnerable and powerful man alive, as I share my quirk and my pleas, for god’s sake stop eating your fries!

            Was God even alive? Was god an entity fuller than what he really is? Are you a God? Everybody speaks out and nothing seems new. Why then should I listen? What more? Speak? And you try to explain. And you try to shed light to this poor subtle mind of mine. I feel stupid but I take it as it is and I take stupidity as folly. I refuse to be called that. I am limited but am, as I would like to be seen, learning. Why think when everybody already does?

Bakit kahit baduy yung kanta kumakanta ako?.. Parang kanta lang yan… plus philosophy plus science and science and philosophy. Lalung di ko naintindihan.

            It’s a given. A code of life, a curse to the living and you try to expound. Ask me and I answer with a shrug. At an instant I was disturbed by my nothingness. Wisdom to me is oblivious, if not, nonexistent. When I’m beside you I feel like a student, a colleague, a minion. Why are you so wise that I find it hard to penetrate? Yet you’re mine. There’s no use pondering over what’s historic, and so I’m back to my questions.

            The world is spinning, a bomb exploding over endless questions and she sits there eating her fries. I was made uncomfortable by such silence, by such peace. I go back to myself and his query echoed… so What do you think? You could say what you want, philosophize all you want. I am a scientist, I know thinking is a brain function a symbol of existence, awareness and life… AND I never wanted to be alone. That’s why I have you, that’s why I have my questions and ultimately the reason why I’m welcoming it. Thinking means breathing and it’s not something you can impose. You live by your own system even if you try holding it back. Silently I’m imposing something. Why think when everybody already does? Why listen when everybody speaks same thoughts over and over again? I thirst for life. Because I cannot impose, because I am limited…learning and don’t want to be alone. It’s my way of hearing other airways open, my way of living, breathing. It feels good to know others function as you do. A song, an article, a conversation and silence, suddenly I knew… all along I found existence on contentions and figuring things out has sustained me. It made me happy and kept me alive. There goes the shrug and no words were given out. And he says… Think about it, you should speak. Define yourself, your own. And I smile. I own a big thinking being, an airway broadly opened. And I hug you… you smile back.

            We are so in love and the world has revolved twenty million folds right that very moment… but some people are indifferent. We smile. And you say… look at that girl. Sarap nya kumain no? I’m well adjusted to your silly jokes. I would rather watch you smile. I say… yeah, she just won’t stop eating her fries. =)

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